English Words We Need

At a loss? Don't know how to express what you really mean? Do you know what you want to say, but the words just aren't there? My family has found a way around that, and it works beautifully! We simply invent, create, discover - however you'd like to put it - our OWN words, and they fill in the gaps, quite nicely.

For instance - the first one below should be in the English language, and translated into EVERY language - are you ready?

You read it correctly...

The definition of "disrecollect", has to go back to its root word - "disrecall". It is the action of being unable to retrieve a concept, an emotion, an idea, a person, a place, or a thing from the memory; at the moment it is needed. Various forms of the word are: disrecalled, disrecollect, disrecollected, disrecollection. In context: "I disrecollect what I needed at the store" - "I disrecollect your name" - "Can't you disrecall it?". Another acceptable usage of "disrecollect", is when one CHOOSES not to remember something, for one reason or another. Then, it would be proper to say - "They are in my disrecollection" - i.e., residing in a collection of things that you do not wish to recall.

Even though this was written "tongue in cheek", we do think that these words would be helpful. Many words have been missed, that need to be included not merely in our everyday vocabulary, but they need to be included in the dictionary.

After you have considered our suggestions, please let us know what you think!

Useful one, yes?

Can you not see that there are a myriad of practical uses for this one? Is there not a cause? DISGUSTIPATED should be a real word.

Alas, I cannot take credit for this one - the credit goes to son #3, who has quite a unique vocabulary. The neat thing about this word, is that everyone understands it, right off the bat! WHAT? You don’t get it? All right – here is the definition….

DISGUSTIPATED

A feeling that gradually comes over one, when they have had about as much as they can take…of anything. The closest match, if you’d like a close synonymical word – which would not then be a synonym, since synon connotes synonymous – at any rate, the closest phrase, if you like, would be “fed up”. It describes an emotion that FEELS like a noun. Once one has reached a “saturation point” of being “fed up” – the wave of emotion that surges over one, convinces them that they are dealing with disgustipation.

My son uses it all of the time, and we have used it in the general course of conversation. Everyone understands what I mean – NO ONE questions its legitimacy. I rarely need to use it, but when I do – it’s there!

Now, this is a word that I cannot believe we do not use, on a regular basis. I’ll bet you say “because” many times, in the course of a day. You KNOW why you say that, and what it means. According to Webster’s New World Dictionary 1968 version, “because” means: “For the reason or cause that; on account of the fact that; since: as, I came in because it was raining.” Right. We all know what “because” stands for. Well, for pity’s sake, WHY don’t we say "decause"?

DECAUSE

Definition: “Not the reason or cause that; not on account of the fact that; not since: as, I came in decause it was raining? That makes a whole lot of sense to me, and I’ll bet it makes sense to you, too. Decause has an additional benefit, in that it can ALSO be used to indicate that there was not a cause! I’m tellin’ you – this is one useful word. Try it – you’ll see!

• “I bought the ring, decause it was expensive.”
• “Well, I was just late – decause.”
• “I need a raise, decause I am an excellent employee.”

Just THINK of the applications. If you run your words together, and say it really fast, no one will understand that you are saying exactly the OPPOSITE of what they THINK you are saying.

DECAUSE is a timely, necessary addition to everyone’s vocabulary. My family started using it many years ago, and we confuse everyone around us!

How this wonderful word was overlooked, I don’t know!

TURB - Definition: We ALL know what it is like to be “dis-turbed” – put “out-of-sorts”, distracted, made to feel uneasy or interrupted. However, very few know what it is to be “turbed”. It means to be put at ease, delightfully interrupted, or have our attention requested for positive information or news.

This one is especially for use with loved ones. Most definitely a vital word for those with spouses, children, and grandchildren – and can also be used with dear friends, nieces, nephews, and parents. Children and grandchildren should be told from the time that they can grasp it, that their stories and drawings and ideas will never “dis-turb” us. As long as they are polite about it, they should be welcome to turb us, anytime.

“Feel free to turb me” – should be a daily phrase.

No one needs the definition of disturbed here. We really have that one down “pat”. Many of us need to know that it is okay to be “turbed”, too!

Admit it – how many times would you have liked to type this word, or write this word, but couldn’t – because it was not grammatically correct? A lot – right? Me, too.

WUDJA - Definition: Generally substituted for the common expression – “Would you, please?”

Of course, in the 21st century, very few people use the archaic jargon “please”. Therefore – “wudja” – just five little letters, saves spacing, unnecessary typing or writing, nine additional letters, and thirteen characters overall. A marked economy of effort, wouldn’t you say?

Along with wudja, we are proposing that the words cudja, shudja, and wudntja should be “grandfathered” into our lexicons also, as proper English words. We use them all of the time, they are phonetically correct, and they are ALL easily understood.

I use this Word, all of the time!

Say it – RIDICULOSITY! Doesn't that sound good? It just “sort of” rolls off your tongue, doesn't it? No, I did not spell it incorrectly, as is "ridiculousity" - the second “U” is not supposed to be there. In the English language, we tend to drop different letters a lot, depending on the form of the word we are using, so that is not a misspelling. Besides, it’s MY word, and that’s how I spell it!

Try it out in a sentence. How about – “I have had just about ENOUGH of your ridiculosity!” – what do you think? Should that not be a WORD?

Is there not a place for this word in the English language? Ridiculousness is simply not easy to say – it doesn’t even quite apply in certain circumstances – but RIDICULOSITY is perfect!

RIDICULOSITY

Definition: The act of engaging in ridiculousness, or being ridiculous – silly, inane, foolish, idiotic, and an all-round general doderduff.

Oh, my! You don’t know what a DODERDUFF is? Well, it’s next on the list…

I learned this from a late friend...

Didn't you ever really want to call someone a blithering idiot, but really did not want to use that word? Or, a fool – that’s a no-no. Or, a stupid moron? Frankly, those are pretty strong words – sometimes appropriate, but – strong words, nonetheless.

Well, I cannot claim credit for this one – it was used a lot, by a friend who has long passed away. I think is a great word, and this is what it means:

DODERDUFF - Definition: A person who repeatedly does things, without forethought, planning, or consideration of other people. One who is oblivious to physical laws, manners, the status quo, or sense and sensibility. It is generally used when stronger words, such as some of those aforementioned, i.e., moron, idiot, imbecile, and others, are either inappropriate in present company, or too harsh to apply to that particular individual.

A doderduff can be a nice, well-intentioned person – who is usually unaware of their surroundings, and basically lacking all common sense, to the point of being ignorant of the normal operating mechanics of life.

My mother was one - I am the opposite.

This is a word that is necessary - right now, in this present day and age. So many people, with whom I speak, are OMNIPHOBIACS. You can probably figure THIS one out for yourself, can’t you?

No? All right…

OMNIPHOBIAC - Definition: One who is afraid of everything.

Literally, that’s the definition. An omniphobiac is one who is afraid of:

• The sun not coming up…
• Thunderstorms
• Lightning
• Knives
• Husbands falling off ladders
• Trampolines
• Poverty
• Large dogs
• Small mice
• Spiders
• Snakes
• Wasps
• Bees
• Strangers
• Car accidents

Wait a minute - afraid of everything - I don’t have time to list EVERYTHING! The list wouldn't be finished on my deathbed, even. You get the picture.

Omniphobiacs are afraid of hurricanes, even on the other side of the world, afraid they won’t get to a restaurant before it closes, afraid that a child will hurt himself if he isn’t supervised every single moment of the day, afraid of adventure, afraid of growing old – they are just afraid of everything. It should be a legitimate word!

Like it?

Now, think about it…how much time and effort would this word have saved you over the years?

Instead of having to type three words, you would only have one word – four letters. The intricate maneuvering of your mouth, to say what this word means, would be totally eliminated, along with two complete syllables. After you read the definition – try it – you’ll love it!

JEET -Definition: Isn’t it obvious? It means – “Did you eat?”. Easy, no?

You'll never guess what this is...

I told you one of my sons had an interesting vocabulary. This word was coined by him, when he was just a toddler, and we decided to keep it.

Often, people use words that simply sound crude to the ears, to describe when a little one has had a mess in their diaper. The words that are commonly used just don't appeal to me, at all.

We used to say, that they had "made a job". THAT, I felt was acceptable and genteel. Well, one day, my son came out with this one. It is so unusual, and easy to say and spell - not to mention, soft on the ears.

Just thought we would include that one, because there IS a place for it, and it sounds a lot better than ---- or ----.

(Sorry, I just cannot type those words!)

Petition your legislators! March on Capitol Hill! Call the White House! Call the Center for Disease Control! Demand your “Word Rights“! Change the laws!

The implementation of this one needs immediate attention – once you realize, how MUCH this word needs to be a part of our everyday language, you will rush to the phone, call all of your friends and family, and get them moving! HOW could we have survived, without this word?

It is a DISEASE – a NEW one. It is so insidious, that most doctors have nary a clue that it even exists…

As healthy as I am, I have fallen victim to it, and…there is no cure! Oh, the victim can get some relief, if they are quarantined. They must have NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER with other people, because as soon as there is ANY contact with another human being - you'll contract it again, and be down for the count. No matter how many times, I try not to “catch it”, I do!

What IS it? Well, I will tell you…

SUPERGRATITUDINITIS - Definition: A disease contracted by a very small percentage of the population. Its encroachment knows no boundaries, and NOTHING will stop it, but total, permanent isolation from other human beings. No phone calls, no letters, no emails, no texting, no Twittering, no Facebook page, no ordering from eBay, Amazon, Google (that’s a WORD?), no visitors, no telegrams, and no eye contact. Yes, that’s right! No EYE CONTACT. You can even exhibit gratitude with your eyes! Those who contract the disease are those who were taught, at a very early age, what I instilled in my children. I have so many, we are an epidemic all by ourselves! I taught them that “Gratitude is a rare commodity“, my own saying, and taught them to be grateful. Hence, they inherited supergratitudinitis, from ME!

It is a rare disease found only in human beings. It can be found in every country, in every race, and in almost every age group. It is RARELY found in infants. Symptoms are sudden, pronounced, and easily recognizable. A person who has “supergratitudinitis” feels compelled to thank everyone for ANYTHING they have done, to benefit the person afflicted by it. Any favor, any kindness, no matter HOW SMALL, will be met with profuse thanks, and undying gratitude. Not content to merely say – “Thank you” – the “supergratitudinite” continues, far and beyond any reasonable expectations, to offer thanks and exhibit signs of gratitude.

Hoping to stop its spread, the AMA has teamed up with the major television networks, radio stations, Hollywood, the big publishing houses, and the newspaper and magazine industries. All have agreed to increase their promotion of the “ME” lifestyle – you know:

• It’s all about ME
• Finding YOURself
• You’re invading MY space
• Look out for #1 – that would be YOU
• Take time for YOUR self, and so on, and so forth, ad nauseum.

The programming of the nation is in full swing, and it is estimated that, by the year 2050, when the Baby Boomers have all raised their children, the disease will have been eradicated from the face of the globe. There are promising signs that this is occurring, even as we speak - write - type and read.

Because the disease is so highly contagious, the CDC has requested that the public report any inklings of supergratitudinitis cases. Should it become a full-blown plague, most luxury items will become a thing of the past, resulting in a total collapse of the economy. An outbreak of ANY magnitude would shut down homeless shelters, nationwide – as the society would care for its own. Divorce lawyers would be a “dying breed”, as spouses would be thankful for the marriage they have, and be gracious to their mates. Manufacturing plants would return to their “parent” nation, to create jobs for those on their own shores, and most of the law enforcement officers would be laid off, as people would be grateful for what they had, and appreciate it.

As for me, I think everyone should embrace the “illness”, and sign my petition, to make SUPERGRATITUDINITIS a household word!

Because life is too short, and none of us should take ourselves TOO seriously, I thought I would share some of our favorite "words that should have been". I DO hope you have enjoyed reading about them, and perhaps, in the "Comments Section" at the end, you'd like to tell us about some words that YOU would like to see implemented.

Photo credits:

All of the images portrayed here were created by the author. - E. Tack